


a bonfire heart to light me up

by Suicix



Category: GOT7
Genre: Anal Sex, Developing Relationship, First Time, Fluff, M/M, Porn with Feelings, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-02
Updated: 2018-01-02
Packaged: 2019-02-27 12:42:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13248462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suicix/pseuds/Suicix
Summary: Yugyeom doesn’t know what he expects of tonight, only that he’s expecting something. There are no schedules tomorrow, and Jackson’s got his apartment to himself this evening, and he made it pretty clear that Yugyeom’s welcome to stay over if he wants. And Yugyeom very muchdoeswant.





	a bonfire heart to light me up

**Author's Note:**

> happy new year, everyone!! i'm kicking things off with fic of a ship i've never written before :0

Yugyeom doesn’t know what he expects of tonight, only that he’s expecting something. There are no schedules tomorrow, and Jackson’s got his apartment to himself this evening, and he made it pretty clear that Yugyeom’s welcome to stay over if he wants. And Yugyeom very much _does_ want.

They’ve eaten, and there’s music playing, and Yugyeom can’t seem to keep his eyes off of Jackson’s mouth as he talks. The only time he manages it is when Jackson makes him laugh and his eyes squeeze shut for a moment, but he reopens them just in time to see Jackson’s tongue dragging across his lips, which – _oh._ Suddenly, Yugyeom wants to kiss him even more.

He could, is the thing. He could lean across and cup Jackson’s face and cut him off mid-sentence, could coax a surprised grunt out of Jackson and into his own mouth. Now that they’re dating, Yugyeom can do that. He just wants to be sure he’s doing everything right. He might be able to make it seem like music’s following the movement of his body rather than it being the other way round, but you can’t do that with people. He’ll wait for Jackson to start something off, to make the first move. To count them in, so to speak.

Time passes. They talk and they laugh and Yugyeom’s happy, so happy to get to spend time with Jackson like this, but he’s also starting to get impatient. Surely there’s another reason why he’s here tonight, and surely that reason is sex. The only thing that makes it seem like things might be moving in that direction is the way Jackson’s ever so slowly inching closer to Yugyeom on the couch. Yugyeom didn’t notice at first, but now, now that it feels like Jackson’s right in his face, it’s impossible to miss.

He’s right _there:_ his face, that glitter in his eyes. His mouth, his smile, his voice. It’s all so difficult to resist. The corner of his mouth turns up in a smirk, and Yugyeom finds himself blushing, face flushing darker and hotter under the heat of Jackson’s gaze. He’s not even saying anything suggestive, and yet he’s got Yugyeom feeling like this. It’s how Yugyeom felt when he was simply crushing on Jackson from afar, feeling stupid because surely nothing was ever going to come of it, trying to fight how he felt because he didn’t want to make things awkward between them, confiding in no-one but Bambam about his feelings. It’s probably a good sign that he still feels like this, that Jackson still makes him feel like this: it shows how much Yugyeom likes him.

God, he’s not sure that he can stand much more of this. There’s only one logical conclusion for this evening, so why aren’t they heading towards it? Maybe they’re going slowly, so slowly that Yugyeom can’t tell it’s happening, like the way Jackson was moving along the couch, but Yugyeom doesn’t want that, doesn’t want slow. He wants something quicker but steady, a comfortable rhythm, and he wants to be aware of it. He wants to know it’s happening.

Maybe he should just go for it like he was thinking about earlier. Maybe he shouldn’t be afraid of taking a wrong step, just this once. After all, a relationship shouldn’t be a routine – instead, it’s more like a freestyle. And that’s how Yugyeom dances best.

He waits until there’s a slight pause in the conversation – something that’s rare when you’re with Jackson – and leans in even closer before he can think better of it, before Jackson can start talking again. Yugyeom sets a hand on Jackson’s thigh and lets their lips meet. He gives Jackson the chance to move away, just in case, but Jackson practically melts into it, like it’s all he wants. All he’s been waiting for.

There’s a hand in Yugyeom’s hair now, and another cupping his jaw. Jackson’s touch is firm, but he’s letting Yugyeom control the kiss. Like what he wants is for Yugyeom to call the shots. Like what he wants even more so is for Yugyeom to be comfortable.

“Hey,” Jackson says when they break apart. “Do you want–?”

“Yeah.” Yugyeom’s nodding before Jackson can even finish his sentence. “I want it.”

“You don’t even know what I was gonna say!” Jackson says. “Could have asked you if you wanted to leave the country, or never dance again, or eat some really spicy food.”

“But you wouldn’t want to eat spicy food either, hyung.”

“You’re right, I wouldn’t. What did you think I was asking, then?”

“I think,” Yugyeom says, pitching his voice low and hopefully sexy, “that you were gonna ask if I wanted to have sex with you. Tonight.”

There’s a pause, just for a second. Jackson glances away for a second and then back at Yugyeom, his eyes still glimmering.

“I can’t lie,” he says. “You’re right, again. It’s kind of what I was hoping for.”

“Why didn’t you do anything about it if it’s what you were hoping for?” Yugyeom doesn’t get it. They could have been here forever if he hadn’t kissed Jackson. _Going for it_ is as much of a Jackson Thing as his face or his body or his smile or his laugh or his voice. It’s just what he _does._ What makes this different?

“Wanted to confirm it first. Didn’t want you to feel like you were being forced into anything, you know?”

Yugyeom nods, considering. It kind of makes sense now, given that they haven’t done this before, even if he knows there’s no way that Jackson would ever do that to him or even make it feel like he was.

“I wouldn’t feel like that, though,” Yugyeom says, unable to help being a little stubborn, and Jackson just shrugs.

“Jinyoung seemed to think there was a chance you might,” Jackson says, and Yugyeom’s eyes widen, surprised. Jinyoung? Since when does Jinyoung care about him this much? “Told me not to push it and to take care of you. Of course, he’d kill us both if he knew I was telling you this.”

Yugyeom snorts. _That_ sounds like the Jinyoung he knows.

“Of course he would. Enough about him, though. I’d rather think about _you.”_

“Oh yeah?” Jackson’s expression is a mix of cocky and plain delighted; it’s like he’s trying to come across as cool and confident but he can’t help his joy from bleeding through. “You wanna go think about me somewhere else? Like, my bedroom?”

He’s already standing up and holding out a hand. Yugyeom grins and takes it, eager. They’re doing this. Finally. Just like they both hoped.

Jackson uses his phone to switch off the music, and Yugyeom lets himself be pulled through the lounge, through the hall, through to Jackson’s room. His heart thuds away in his chest, equal parts nervous and excited. He wants this. He wants this so much. He wants them to be skin to skin, wants Jackson’s body pressed up against his, wants to get him hard and make him come. God. Just thinking about it has Yugyeom desperate.

He’s all too willing to be pushed onto the bed, to let Jackson straddle him. They’re kissing again, and Yugyeom feels breathless, but he doesn’t care, wants to drown in it. Jackson’s so fiercely passionate, and he always is when they kiss, but now, now that it’s leading up to something more, it’s like that’s doubled – maybe even tripled. It’s like he means it with every single fibre of his being, like he wants to show Yugyeom everything he is, everything he’s got.

By the time they pull away from each other properly – this time, for longer than just a few seconds long in between kisses interval – Yugyeom’s hard in his jeans, hard underneath Jackson. As they kissed, Jackson had been grinding down against Yugyeom’s lap, and now, he drags his ass right over the stiff length of Yugyeom’s dick to make Yugyeom shiver. Yugyeom gives a whimpery little groan despite himself, the noise falling from his mouth so easily. It might be embarrassing, if Jackson wasn’t looking at him so intently, awe so obvious in his eyes.

“So,” says Jackson. His mouth’s wet from the kisses, shiny and swollen, and again, Yugyeom’s drawn to it. He only manages to blink and look up after a moment.

“So,” Yugyeom repeats back. He smiles, albeit nervously. All he wants is for this to be good, to make this good. He already knows that Jackson will. It’s just a matter of being able to live up to him. “I’ve never had sex with a guy before,” Yugyeom finds himself blurting out after a moment of silence, the words spilling out so quickly that he can’t seem to stop them. “Not really, anyway. Only–”

“It’s fine, Yugyeom-ah. I know. I don’t care. I don’t expect anything of you. Just that you wanna be here with me.” Jackson reaches for one of Yugyeom’s hands and squeezes it.

“I do,” Yugyeom tells him. He squeezes Jackson’s hand back. “I wanna be here.”

Yugyeom doesn’t think he could say anything truer than that. He wants to be here, wants to be with Jackson, wants to have sex with him.

“Well, that’s good. That’s what we like to hear.” Now, Jackson’s other hand is on Yugyeom’s stomach, fingers splayed, the warmth of his palm tangible through Yugyeom’s t-shirt. “Is there anything… particular you want from tonight?”

Yugyeom thinks. Maybe – maybe there is. Maybe he wants something that’ll make this different from the sex he’s had before. He’s been with girls, and then he’s done things with Bambam – the friendly kind of experimentation that happens when you’re both trying to figure yourselves out while you’re practically living in each other’s back pockets – and he knows that Jackson knows about that, but it never went past hands and mouths and frotting against each other to get off. It probably sounds dumb – will make him sound so young and naïve when he says it aloud – but he wants something more than that with Jackson tonight.

“I want,” Yugyeom starts to say, absentmindedly licking at his lips, pausing before he next speaks. “I don’t know, but I want some – you know. I want some actual fucking to happen.”

“Sure.” Jackson nods. “We can do that. How do you want it?”

Yugyeom shrugs. He thinks he’d be happy with anything. Jackson fucking into him, his hands steady on Yugyeom’s thighs and the look in his eyes blazing. Getting to fuck Jackson, seeing and hearing him unravel all because Yugyeom’s inside him, all because Yugyeom’s touching him. Anything.

“Whatever you want,” he says, because really, he doesn’t mind. He wants to see what Jackson will do, what Jackson wants from him. What Jackson’s been hoping for.

“OK.” Another nod. Jackson sounds so calm and patient, and maybe that’s unlike him, but Yugyeom definitely appreciates that here and now. “Can I ride you?”

_Oh._ That’s – something. Yugyeom lets images fill his mind: Jackson sinking down on his cock, moaning as he does, the heat of him tight and perfect around Yugyeom. It doesn’t even take a few seconds of thinking about it for Yugyeom to realise that _yes,_ he wants it. He nods in answer, easy, eager.

“Nice,” Jackson says. He lets go of Yugyeom’s hand and shifts across the bed so he can reach into his nightstand. After rifling through it for a moment, he pulls out a bottle of lube and a condom from a box. The items are set down on the bed, the nightstand drawer is shut, and Jackson pulls his tank top off over his head.

Yugyeom supposes it’s an invitation to do the same. He gets his t-shirt off, letting it join Jackson’s top near the other end of the bed so it’s not in their way. Jackson smiles at him, warm and sexy and photoshoot-ready, and before Yugyeom even really gets the chance to take in the sight of him shirtless, Jackson’s surging back towards him, kissing him. One hand grips at Yugyeom’s bare shoulder, and the other skims down his chest, settling right on the waistband of his jeans, so very nearly on his cock but not quite. When the kiss breaks, Yugyeom nods, permission for Jackson to touch him, to get rid of the rest of his clothes, and Jackson gives one sharp nod in return, understanding. He undoes the button and zip on Yugyeom’s jeans, and when Yugyeom moves so he can pull them off completely, Jackson loses his own sweatpants – loses his underwear as well. This time, Yugyeom actually gets the chance to look, and so look he does: Jackson’s chest, his abs, his thighs. His hard cock, when he gets a hand on himself and gives it a jerk.

Jackson catches him staring and grins.

“You too,” he says, raising his eyebrows at Yugyeom’s boxer briefs, and after a moment or so, Yugyeom’s finally naked. Naked with Jackson, like he’s wanted for so long.

He lets Jackson kiss him again, deep and wet and easy to drown in, moaning when Jackson’s mouth moves to his jaw, his neck. Like this – no clothes in the way, just the two of them and the heat of their flushed skin – Yugyeom feels closer to Jackson than ever before.

“Please,” Yugyeom finds himself saying, because fuck, he wants it, wants Jackson. Needs to feel him, needs to fuck him. “Please, Jackson-hyung.”

Jackson pulls his mouth off of Yugyeom’s neck, breathing against the skin. He’s still so close, close enough that his lips are still almost touching the skin, and Yugyeom shivers.

“Hm?” Jackson wonders, finally pulling back properly to look at Yugyeom. “Fuck, OK, yeah. Let me prep myself.”

At that – even though it’s going to get him what he wants – Yugyeom can’t help but feel a little disappointed. Doesn’t Jackson want him to do that? Doesn’t Jackson trust him to do it for him?  He tells himself not to dwell on it: maybe it’s not that at all. Maybe he just wants Yugyeom to watch for now, wants eyes on him as he touches himself, deep and intimate. Yugyeom looks on as Jackson picks the lube back up, as he gets his fingers wet and gets himself into a position that’s hopefully comfortable for him and allows Yugyeom to see. As Jackson pushes a finger inside himself, slow and steady to start off with. As Jackson’s mouth falls open on a quiet groan. It’s a lot to take in.

Jackson works himself up to another finger quickly, his cock only getting harder as he does. He hums at the wider stretch, seeming so relaxed as his eyes flutter shut for a second. Now more than ever, Yugyeom can’t help but wonder how it feels.

“I’ve never done that before,” he admits, nodding at where Jackson’s opening himself up.

“No?”

“I mean, until recently, I didn’t have my own room at the dorm. And even though I’ve always had my own room at home, when I go back there, I mostly just rest. So, no. Never.”

“You’ve been missing out, then. Well, I guess not everyone likes it, but I do, so I say you’ve been missing out. I’ll do it for you sometime. Soon. Make it so good for you, yeah? Here – you can try on me now if you want.” Jackson pulls his fingers free, gasping as he does, and holds out the lube for Yugyeom to take.

Yugyeom takes it. He slicks his fingers up like Jackson had done, waiting as Jackson gets himself into a different position. Jackson’s lying back now, hands on his ass to spread his cheeks apart so Yugyeom can reach more easily.

“You can start with two,” Jackson instructs, and so Yugyeom pushes two fingers inside him, a little hesitant. “Just go for it, yeah? You won’t hurt me, don’t worry. I know you won’t.”

How much confidence Jackson has in him has Yugyeom relaxing. He goes for it – _a Jackson Thing,_ the voice in his mind tells him, and it makes him smile as he does as Jackson says, not holding back, as Jackson talks him through it.

“Come on, give me another. Yeah, that’s it. That’s good. That’s so good, Yugyeomie. Can’t wait to have you inside me for real.” His eyes are on Yugyeom’s dick as he says that, and Yugyeom swears he feels it twitch at the thought, at the idea that Jackson wants him this badly. “Your cock, fuck. Think I might be nearly ready for it.”

When Yugyeom finally pulls his hand back, he moves so he’s sitting back against the pillows again, and waits. Jackson’s holding the condom, taking it out of its wrapper, glancing up to look at Yugyeom as he does. Yugyeom’s so hard, and so ready. Or maybe not ready at all. Fuck, he doesn’t know. He just knows that he wants Jackson, that he trusts Jackson.

The condom goes on. Jackson spreads some lube over Yugyeom’s dick and the bottle is set aside. He moves in closer, straddling Yugyeom again, one hand on Yugyeom’s cock so he can push himself down onto it. It happens in one smooth movement, Jackson sinking onto him, all the way down. Yugyeom stares down at where their bodies meet, and then back up at Jackson. Jackson’s smiling at him, his hands on Yugyeom’s sides to keep himself steady.

“Is that good for you?” he asks, eyes wide with genuine question. “Because it’s good for me.”

“Yeah,” Yugyeom tells him, meaning it. “It is.”

“Good.” Jackson reaches up, wrapping his arms around Yugyeom’s neck instead. “That’s all this needed to be.”

He’s right. Yugyeom’s kind of stunned by just _how_ good it is, by how good Jackson’s willing to make it for him. By how clear it is through this that Jackson cares for him, truly and deeply.

And Yugyeom can say with confidence that he cares for Jackson just as much in return. Jackson’s close enough that their foreheads can press together, so Yugyeom lets it happen. His hands come to rest on Jackson’s hips, fingers trembling slightly before he gets a proper grip, and Jackson shudders a little at the touch, his breath warm against Yugyeom’s mouth. They stay like that for a moment – still, quiet, Yugyeom buried deep inside Jackson – and then Jackson starts to _move._

At first, it’s slow, steady: small circles of his hips that have him rising up on Yugyeom and then sinking down again, though really, he’s hardly moving at all. Can’t move any more than this because of how close they are, because of how they’re touching each other. He unwraps his arms from around Yugyeom’s shoulders, covering Yugyeom’s hands with his own and prying them off of his body. For the very briefest of moments, Yugyeom furrows his brow in a frown, but ultimately, he doesn’t care. Not when he trusts whatever Jackson will do.

“Move so you’re lying back a bit more?” Jackson suggests and then, when Yugyeom is and Jackson’s hands are free, “Here – let me,” and Yugyeom lets him.

From there, he gets a real rhythm going, something faster, snappy yet smooth. Yugyeom moans, long and low, and Jackson just smirks at him, keeping up the pace. It’s impossible to even want to look away from him, and here, his athleticism really shows. He’s leaning back a little now, his hands firm on Yugyeom’s thighs, and how much he’s getting off on this judging by the sight of the flush of his chest and his hard nipples and the precome leaking from his cock is a real confidence boost. When Jackson fucks down on Yugyeom’s cock particularly hard and groans, holding nothing back, it’s even more of one.

Yugyeom had expected, really, that Jackson would be loud, but actually experiencing it is completely different from imagining what he might sound like. He definitely hadn’t let himself think too much about what kind of things Jackson might actually say, but now that he’s hearing it, he wants Jackson’s words in his mind forever-forever-forever.

“God,” Jackson pants out, still showing no signs of slowing down or stopping, “Yugyeom. Yugyeomie. I’d love to have you like this for me sometime. Riding me. Riding me like you ride a rhythm, fuck. So good, Yugyeom-ah. You’d be so good. I know it.”

“You think so?” Yugyeom doesn’t doubt it, necessarily, but he wants to hear what Jackson has to say. Likes how genuine the praise sounds coming from Jackson.

“Of course!” Jackson tells him, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I’ve seen you dance enough times, haven’t I? Of course you fucking would.”

“I want to,” Yugyeom says honestly. Even now, he’s rocking his hips up to meet the pace Jackson’s set. “I really want to.”

“Soon, if we have the time.” From the look on Jackson’s face, that’s a promise. He wraps a hand around his dick, his other hand settling on Yugyeom’s hip. “Fuck, I’m nearly there – touch me,” he continues, and Yugyeom’s hand replaces his own around his cock, trying to match the rhythm of his jerks to that of how Jackson’s still fucking himself on him.

When Jackson’s this close, it’s hard to keep a steady pace, but Yugyeom doesn’t care, just watches in wonder as Jackson falls apart in front of him, on top of him. He’s even louder than before, moaning out Yugyeom’s name like it’s the only word he knows. His eyes squeeze shut, and he clenches around Yugyeom, tight, his come jetting over Yugyeom’s stomach. Fuck. Yugyeom thought mid-fuck Jackson looked good, but this is a whole other level, one he wasn’t prepared for.

He also isn’t prepared for it when Jackson just keeps going – just keeps fucking down on Yugyeom like he’s determined for Yugyeom to come as well, and if one thing can be said about that, it’s that it’s working. Yugyeom groans out, knowing he’s close, and it’s a few more thrusts and a final cry of _Jackson, Jackson-hyung_ before he’s there, shakily pushing his hips up, driving himself what feels like impossibly deeper into Jackson.

“That’s it,” Jackson tells him, his voice so rough and so relaxed. So perfect. He’s finally stopped moving, and before he gets off of Yugyeom’s cock, he leans in for a kiss, slow and soft.

Once he’s off, though, he’s up: grabbing a tissue to clean his come away and throwing away the condom. Yugyeom just lies back, his head on one of Jackson’s pillows. When Jackson returns, he lies down on his front, facing Yugyeom.

“So,” Jackson says, propping an elbow up on Yugyeom’s chest and resting his chin in his hand. “How was that?”

“Everything I wanted,” Yugyeom answers. He still feels breathless, swears he can hear the beat of his heart loud in his eardrums. “Thanks, hyung.”

Jackson raises an eyebrow, like there’s some sort of challenge there.

“Everything?” he wonders, his eyes narrowing as his mouth stretches into a smirk. “I’m sure I can do even better than that.”

Yugyeom doesn’t think it could possibly _be_ better, but if that’s something Jackson wants to strive towards, then Yugyeom definitely isn’t going to try and stop him.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks so much for reading - you can also find me on tumblr @ vibetechs and on twitter @gotsevenses !!


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